The RA-ven

Sitting here with trace of malice

Loafing, waiting in my palace

And referring kids to Alice

From my saintly nest of Furnald 9-2-4.

With a brush I send them onward

Telling them I'd help if I could

Yet while not adding to their knowledge

What had not been there before

A RA's job, and nothing more.

Here I wait for questions enlightening

From residents I've been a-frightening

With tales meant to be inviting

About my trials with our blessed Core

Bored right out of mind and body

Thinking I'll take up a hobby

To take my time away from the bloody

Task of making signs for all their doors

A RA's life, and nothing more.

Quickly I become a poet

To feel, to live, and yes to show it

Not able to perchance forgo it

Bored as such I can't take more

Of this uninviting silence

Driven madly to a violence

Of words crashing in the sky

Henceforth to ruin the silent floor

A RA bored, and nothing more.

So here I sit with inner smile

Where I've sat for quite awhile

Pleading with residents a-vile

To please approach my door

A resource wasted on twelve freshmen

Who don't appreciate what they have when

They have scored enough

To pick upon my floor

A RA's scorn, and nothing more.

Yet all at once they started flocking
all those freshmen I've been mocking
At my chamber door were knocking
knocking like they'd never knocked before

It took me quickly by surprise then

To be met by all their eyes when

I'd been swatting flies and

Nothing else for hours, two or more

A RA stunned, and nothing more

With questions deep and answers fair

from freshmen who were quite aware

It made me almost want to care

About those freshmen that I did adore

With their bouts of wit and laughter

I thought I'd love them ever-after

Even though I never thought

That I would feel that way before

RA love, and nothing more

Then a freshman came a-tapping

On my door there was a rapping

A freshman with his arms out flapping

Who had been awoken by my snore

Suddenly my eyes flew open

Slowly I began to mope when

I realized that a dream was

All that I had rejoiced for

A RA's dream, and nothing more

So still I sit here with much sadness

As I contemplate this madness

That in all their freshman gladness

Freshmen can be such a bore

Now I've sat here for some hours

Without use of my great powers

And as that single freshman cowers

Right behind my door

RA sadness, nothing more

Yet still I know not to mope

That even when I've lost my hope

I will be able to still cope

With those freshmen I abhor

For I know I live Furnald

Which as the envy of the world

Is the finest dorm that

Ever graced the Hudson shore

RA joy, forever more.

---

This was written during Freshman move-in August 2005. Compared to John Jay, when I spent the day busily answering questions and greeting the parents of my 43 residents, I spent Furnald's move-in mostly bored to tears waiting for the 13 freshmen to move in. That said, I still loved my freshman in Furnald. I would have liked to have more though, even as I loved my room in Furnald.